beautiful. as always

--
"It's good for everybody to hurt somebody once in a while.
The things I do to people I love shouldn't be allowed."
-A.D.

jesus. right in the ticker. this pierced. ouch. woman you are powerful.

very much so in agreeing with 'azurainsides'....
and beautiful, as 'aprayerforharper' has said.

you do good.
keep it up.

take care.

--
~Kurdt.

me likey

--
A pill to make me numb,
a pill to make me dumb,
a pill to make me anybody else.
but all the drugs in this world,
wont save me from myself.

Ick... not the poem, but the memories of feelings that, though I wish I could forget, exist in the deep holes I've buried them in over time. Perhaps one day they will suffocate, however, this poem highlights the need for further concrete....

Well written.

Matt

--
The funniest thing I've read in a while:
chown -R us ./base

The only thing that I can find remotely irking about this is some of the placements of words that break the line. Example:

i missed you today, as i pretended to
feel your hand in mine. the streets were

I'd move "to" down to the next line. I'm never much of a fan of ending a line on words like to, the, as, etc... Same with "or" in the next stanza.

Otherwise, beautiful wording; I love it.

The first stanza is awesome... the references to sweetness, particularly sticky sweetness are marvellous. They give a vague reference to physicality in a way that makes me personally slightly nauseated, but it was well written. I also like the way it implies that love won't go away - love is sticky itself. Who can't remember their "first love" (if I believed in such a term), for example?

This ties in far, far too nicely with the arrogant sounds in the third stanza. It points both about wearing to please, and hopeless liking (as you say, lust or adoration, we're not sure). But then that statement is followed by a request for adjustment. While it is indicative of a wish to please, I'm not sure the outside observer could change what she doesn't entirely recognise. But she obviously knows what she likes, even if she can't define it.

The second stanza seems a break from the rest of the poem; the metaphors are completely different from the rest of it, which for me is too stark a change, but it could be construed as a nice indicator of the actual missing of him changes the speaker's world completely. But it still feels untidy.

The last stanza is bizarre... it suggests a power shift from the "him" to the speaker. He expresses some kind of concern over the whole issue, whereas she is very eager, despite the apparent consequences. Nice switch round.

Marvellous, as usual honey

--
Know your DeviantArt
Learn the Way of the Forums

i tend to agree with you. i was playing around with placement, and some of it, i was not sure about. editing will come, i bet. thank you, sweetie. btw, new vnv is kick ass.

--
<sup>Am I the star beneath the stairs?

Am I a ghost upon the stage?

Am I your anything?</sup>

the second stanza was more of a refrain from her talking to him..and looking back over her day. it was a pretty stark change, but i kind of liked it that way. and i am so happy to once again leave you feeling a bit nauseated. it brings me smiles. thank you, dear.

--
<sup>Am I the star beneath the stairs?

Am I a ghost upon the stage?

Am I your anything?</sup>